I am currently writing this from my hotel room in Ireland. I flew over early this morning into Dublin Airport and then had a 4 hour drive to my appointment.
I am now in a hotel in Longford half way back to Dublin.
The flight was really great as I was fortunate enough to sit next to a wonderful woman. We started talking as soon as she sat down.
By the time we landed she knew everything about me. We had a giggle as well as some serious talk.
I apologised for being dressed in drag (shirt and tie!) and she asked me to email her a photo of me as myself, which I will.
She lives in Dublin but visits Birmingham ( only 30 minutes away) quite a bit so on her next trip over hopefully we can meet for a coffee.
I changed out of drag when I got to the hotel and went for a walk around town. I then came back to the hotel and had dinner in the bar.
It was quite full due to the international football matches and the fact that Ireland V Argentina was on the TV. Men cheering and talking loudly. How boring !!
Just got back to my room now and trying to catch up with everyones blogs.
I am getting a lot more comfortable speaking and interacting with others when out now and it makes for much more relaxed times.
With regards to home life I am still considering if it would be best for my kids if I moved out. My daughters seem ok with there friends coming around but my son is really nervous.
I think if I do move out I will have to house share with someone to limit the cost.
I took him to his Rugby practice last night and I was looking around at all the kids and parents wondering what effect my transition will have on him there and the subsequant impact on him in his life and personality.
Sure makes you feel guilty. In fact so much so that sometimes I do wonder if I should stop.
Nearly another week gone at work.slowly edging towards full time on 27th September. I am strating to worry about how it will go. I keep telling myself off for letting my mind race away with possible negative outcomes.
What will be will be I guess. Normally the anticipation and build up is worse than the event. Hopefully it will be the same this time.
Revealing the Secret
19 hours ago
3 comments:
"Sure makes you feel guilty. In fact so much so that sometimes I do wonder if I should stop."
Yes you should stop thinking like this. There is never a point at which you could not turn back but there is a point at which you have gone so far that you would struggle harder to try to return to a place which can never be the same as it once was while you are so close to really tasting that which you are so sure you desire that you would never forgive yourself for not sampling that life to know for sure.
I can understand your sons fear of the unknown, much like our fear of ridicule when we first venture to show our true selves. My fear is that he could cause you to make a decision which could be costly to the whole family in so many ways. Think you really have to spend some time with him and reassure him.
I don't see a single percentage point of male in the Lisa I keep meeting.
Chat soon, Caroline xxx
Everyone has a 'point of no return' both mentally and physically with our transitioning. You Lisa have crossed too many bridges, maybe even burned a few. I feel that a quiet reassuring chat with your son will help him deal with the changes in your life. But you're right, it really isn't about him, it's about all his friend and how they might treat your son.
So nice that you made a friend on your flight! I've chatted with people on planes, but no one whom I've ever seen again.
Normally the anticipation and build up is worse than the event.
This is very often true. I bet things will go just fine. And that should reassure your nervous nelly bosses!
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