What a first day back. :-(

What a first day back.
The day was manic to say the least. There is a lot of pressure on to convert some of the big projects into orders and it led to some intense meetings. One side of our business has been let down on a large order and so people are now focusing on all the other projects trying to bring them forward to help.
We have also lost a good sales engineer who struggled to get on with my Director. We had only just changed the structure a bit and I swapped one of the guys that worked for me with this guy to enable me to focus on some new markets. Little did I know he had been looking around for a while and left a few weeks ago only 3 weeks after he joined me.
So this has now left me trying to break into 2 new markets plus do my other stuff on my own. It has also left me with a huge hole in filling the forecast now. I am a bit pissed really as the guy I swapped has continued to do well and is ahead of target. Timing is everything I guess!
After a long meeting in the morning and then another one later in the day I had the chance to ask which date my MD and Director had set up for meeting the woman offering transition support. It seems that it is set for next Thursday. I then said we should meet the following day to implement the plan.
We then got into the same BS we had been before so I told them either this is going to be managed and I go full time on 27th September or unmanaged and I turn up on that day full time as me, but either way that was the day.
The usual crap about not enough time, worried about the impact on the business, worried it will effect orders, they need to have long enough to stop it effecting orders, they have to think of everyone in the company and their livelihoods, etc etc.
I said again that if they start putting time in now then if it’s managed it will not be a problem, but if they don’t it may be.
They then said that they have to balance all the immediate requirements and while they were trying to put time in, getting orders was the most important thing etc.
I was getting a bit pissed off and said I was already being generous and I know of several people who have transitioned in less than 1 month successfully. I went on to say that I gave a 3 month window to allow them time, but so far we have just started week 6 and other than at last making an arrangement to see the consultant I suggested, they had not done anything. I urged them to put focus on it for the next 8 weeks to ensure it’s a success.
I also reminded them I had not told my best friend and his family about me yet because they know so many people I work with. But I also told them that would change soon, as around 6th / 7th of September I will tell them as my wife has her 40th birthday party on the 11th September and they would obviously see me.
I reminded them that at this time it will come out in an unmanaged fashion, and so they should make this a priority.
My director was about to carry on with delay tactics but looked at my MD who nodded and said that we should wait till after their meeting with the consultant and then see where we go.
They then asked if I was committed to the company etc.
I told them I was and was surprised they had asked that. I also told them I felt they were worrying too much about losing orders and that things will be ok if we work together on this.
Then at that moment my MD pulled a letter out from Leicester University. He then told me he got this strange letter being asked to be a referee for my enrolment onto the counselling course. He had underlined a paragraph.
He asked me what the course was and why I was on it. What were my long term plans etc. (To say I was pissed at the university sending this letter is an understatement at this delicate time!)
I told him this was a personal development thing and that I wanted to help others who were having a hard time like I had been having.
He then asked about the time involved and how it would impact my work. I told him it wouldn’t.
He then read out the following paragraph and I quote from the letter from my university.
“Training as a counsellor or psychotherapist is demanding intellectually, emotionally and socially. It is impossible to teach counselling without impinging on the personal development and lives of participants. Some students find this process intrusive, painful, disturbing and unbearable. Some chose to leave as a result of this, but some do not have the self awareness to recognise that they may be unable to benefit from the course. Therefore it is essential that a screening process is built into the course to ensure that only students who are suitable for the type of teaching and learning that is offered on the programme are accepted.”
I sat there thinking WTF!
So I told him that he didn’t need to write a reference and they must have sent it to him by mistake. I explained that nearly everyone on the course is in full time work and that it would not affect my work.
He then asked me how many hours it was.
At this stage I was getting pissed off in a big way. I told him it was really nothing to do with him. It was a personal course in personal time and so was really none of his business. I also explained I had mentioned to both my Director and our financial Director I was on this course. My Director then said he didn’t realise it was so intense and may affect me so much!
I told him if he didn’t want to give a reference that was fine but I would be both surprised and disappointed if he refused to (I thought maybe attack was the best form of defence at this stage.)
After a while more I took a copy of the letter and told him to forget it, and that I would talk to the university to arrange another reference.
I was a little angry on the way home and even more pissed off when I got home and realised that it was my fault. I had put my work details in the wrong box! Talk about shooting yourself in the foot.
I had to take the dog for a long walk around the lake tonight to calm myself down.
I now realise just why I was dreading this part so much. I am 10 out of 10 on the stress front today.
I am really hoping that over the coming weeks I can find a way to negotiate an exit. I just can’t see myself handling going through this in such a visible and high pressured role, and indeed one I am hating doing.
Hopefully tomorrow is a better day.