It’s been a long day today. I had to get to the airport for a flight to Ireland at 7.15 AM so I got up at 4.30AM.
But I also didn’t sleep very well last night. I seemed to have lots going around in my head so I reckon at most I managed 2 hours. I kept worrying about how things will turn out at work. I think this has been brought on by them going to an independent consultant, at least initially, rather than my counsellor who I recommended. I can’t help but feel this is not a good sign.
I started to imagine worst case scenarios and just couldn’t shake them from my mind. I know there is no point in panicking and what will be will be now but I couldn’t shake the fear.
And I guess fear is what I am feeling a bit lately. And this is related to going full time at work. I am really worried how things are going to go externally when full time and am still not sure in my gut how this is going to pan out with the Directors.
But I guess deep breaths are called for, a long jog tomorrow to get rid of some of my stress and a good night’s sleep after arriving home at 9.30PM.
Maybe I will feel more positive tomorrow and hopefully I won’t have fear running through my mind keeping me awake.
Please help my friend Rebecca
7 hours ago
4 comments:
I was very apprehensive about leaving a though in response to your previous post. It seems that you are doing what I usually do and that is to imagine all the bad scenarios, which don't materialize for me. I would be anxious also if my bosses went to their own sources and not the psychologist I recommended to get information about gender disorders and how to proceed for the workplace.
I would hope that I could trust my immediate directors to go to bat for me. Get a good night rest dear and think positive thoughts.
Sarah
Hopefully the independent consultant they work with will be truly independent and properly knowledgeable. My guess (that's all it is) as to why they didn't want to work with your therapist is because the therapist is your therapist -- a potential conflict of interest. I don't think it's a bad sign in and of itself.
I understand the fear in all of this. For your own sake, I hope you can find a calm place. And keep in mind that your company does value your work.
Lisa:
I agree with the Two Auntees and Veronica. Let you heart not be troubled.
That said, as stress and time will allow, please make notes of all the conversations you have had with said company so far. As this is all still fresh, you can reconstruct everything as needed now - just in case. Your company execs had a lot of good things to say, and are probably trying to just "dot all their i's and cross all their t's."
Having read Donna Rose's book and learning about her transition at work experience made me a believer in having a back-up (good notes).
Good luck and Cheers,
Karin from across the Pond
Hi Lisa,
My workplace did the same. They wanted a 3rd party input, even though I passed them my therapists details. After speaking with HR, I think they were simply worried about doing something wrong just as much as I was initially worried about keeping my job. It was never a case of them seeking help to get rid of me.....
Hope that helps!
Jo x
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