On Sunday my Mum and Dad along with my sister and her husband came around. My Dad and brother in law helped me get the old carpet up and load it into the car.
I then drove to the tip with my Dad. When I got there the man looked in the care and said “Hi love, is the carpet all you have”. I looked at him and said yes. He replied “it’s over in bay 2 love”.
I smiled and drove over to bay 2. I looked at my Dad and we both laughed. It was a great moment, and he seemed to handle it well.
When I got back my Mum wanted to see my new shoes so I took her and my sister upstairs and showed them. We had a great chat about clothes and fashion. It made me laugh when I showed my sister the cut on the back of my foot caused by a pair of sandals my wife had. She told me that I had better get used to that.
Our relationships seem to be changing and developing in a good way. Sure there are times when it all seems difficult like when my Mum said I shouldn’t die my hair or I would look like my uncle (who has a thin hair and had more colour on his scalp that his hair!). I reminded her that most women die their hair and she should not compare me to a man. I know this was instinctual from her and she is in the early stages of adjusting, but I am pointing these things out as we go along in as pleasant a way as possible.
Overall though I am really pleased with things with my family.
Another funny thing happened at B & Q when we bought all the wooden flooring at the weekend. I was presenting as me and we got talking to the assistant to ask advice. He was really nice and was so helpful. When we decided on the wood he said he would help us get extra discount of if we could wait for 30 minutes. It would save us another £150.00 over the promotional discount so of course we agreed.
I then took a trolley over to the flooring and started loading a couple of boxes onto it. He came over and said don’t worry we will have it ready for you when you come back. We walked over to the till and he typed our address into the computer. He then asked what title I used. (I am sure he knew I am in transition) so I said Mrs Lisa S.........
He typed it all in and then said see you in 30 minutes.
We came back and there were 2 huge trolleys filled with the flooring. I went to get one and he said to us, ladies you go to your car and we will push these!
When they got to the car they even loaded it for us.
I had a smile ear to ear!
I am sure he knew but it was so nice to have people be respectful and nice. I will write a letter to his company commending him on the service.
I know I am an optimist, but I have a feeling that society is slowly adjusting to become much more tolerant of diversity.
It will make a much better world for us all.
x
Please help my friend Rebecca
7 hours ago
6 comments:
You go girl!! This is what I'm talking about. Simple, wee words that can mean so much to us and will turn the whole day around! I'm so happy for you!
LeAnne
Sounds like some great experiences - you must have been over the moon.
Stace
I know alot of 'girls' prefer to be mistaken for genetic women, and it is great when that happens, but I think it's even better when we are seen to be transitioning and treated like women. When I'm out and about as Emma, I've been presenting as me, which is as a female and I've had a few occasions when I'm sure I've been read, but I've still been treated with respect and as a female. It's these times that convince me that society isn't half as bad as is often made out.
Reminds me of a time many years ago, when I first started experimenting with an alternative gender expression. I had just left a salon, where I had my hair and nails done, and decided to stop in a little lingerie boutique a few doors down the strip mall. As I walked in, I spotted a rack of pretty lace trimmed pastel panties. I went over to them and picked out a pair that I wanted. Just then the sales girl came over to me and just as naturally as could be, she asked if she could help me. I said yes, that I wanted to purchase this pair of panties. She looked at the panties I had selected and looked at my hips, then selected an identical pair one size larger, and said, "I think you should go with this pair instead, just for comfort." Now admittedly, I looked pretty good that day. I was dressed in floral crepe blouse, white pleated women's pants, and a pair of strappy white 3" wood bottom sandals, and I just had my hair and nails done, but still I was 6'2" tall (without the heels) and in spite of my foundation, I had a noticeable beard shadow. She had to have know that I was trans, yet she never let on and treated me like any other female customer, even thanking me with a warm smile, and asking me to return soon.
It's little experiences like that, that make your confidence soar! So glad to hear you are getting such positive responses from people.
Melissa XX
I'm so glad you are having such positive experiences, both with family and outside the house!
People gender others in an instant based on the cues they pick up. It seems not to take too much for people to conclude "female." Mostly it seems to be the absence of things -- Adam's apple, beard shadow, any other tell-tale male characteristics. So while I think you're right that more people are getting cooler about those who transition -- I experienced that early on -- I also think it's more and more likely that they were simply seeing you as female. They assume very quickly, and they go with it.
Big hugs!
Don't those moments feel great? I never get tired of guys holding doors or helping with the heavy stuff. The world is a nicer place for women.
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